Kakistocracy XXXVIII:Moving On Up.

"You've done me wrong, your time is up. You took a sip from the devil's cup. You broke my heart, there's no way back. Move right out of here, baby, go on pack your bags" - Movin' On Up, M People

 

 

Lyrically, you can hardly fault Liz Truss's choice to come on stage to at the recent Tory conference:- M People's Moving On Up. There is no way back from here and soon she will, surely, be packing her bags (if they've even been unpacked yet) and moving out of number 10 Downing Street.

Otherwise though it was, very Trussian this, a complete own goal. Mike Pickering, one of the song's authors, was livid about it and condemned her use of it, calling the Tory government a "shower" and Heather Small's, the song's vocalist, son just happens to be a Labour councillor so was able to have fun on Twitter taking the piss out of Truss.

 

A simple piece of research before using the song may have prevented such embarrassment but research and listening, along with truth and decency, are no longer things we can associate with this rotten bunch of scoundrels whose conference involved incidents of homophobic abuse. 

 

Not exactly a surprise when you consider that the Met Police WhatsApp group recently discovered to have been sharing racist, homophobic, and misogynist memes turned out to be headed by a man called Rob Lewis. who works for the government and is involved in their immigration policy.

At conference, Truss spouted a load of bullshit about a made-up Anti-Growth Coalition. Like Project Fear (which now even the Telegraph admits was Project Truth), and like the Citizens of Nowhere and the Enemies of the People this is unimaginatively lumping everyone who disagrees with you into one huge amorphous blob and then, quite simply, othering them.

It's amazing how they can make up imaginary enemies (see also:the wokerati) and then convince people they exist and that only the Tories can save us from them. That shit has finally stopped working. Smug tossers like Chris Philp and Tory chair Jake Berry (who told poor people they should just get better jobs so they can afford to switch their heating on this winter) seem to be coming up in the ranks of complete and utter bastards.

 

Or at least they would be if the game didn't appear to be up. Someone accurately described what is happening within the Tory party now, and to the detriment of the entire country, what happens when the ringmaster (Johnson) leaves the circus. The lions start eating the clowns.

On Question Time the audience laughed heartily, though in some despair, as Nadhim Zahawi used the all too popular Tory trick du jour of trying to blame Putin for their own bad policies. But of course all this was overshadowed by Kwasi Kwarteng being sacked by Truss (who then pretended he resigned instead) and him being replaced as Chancellor by Jeremy Hunt. Or Jeremy Cunt as he is widely known.

Truss sacking Kwarteng for showing loyalty to her is akin to a ventriloquist sacking their dummy for saying the wrong words and it's left her with virtually no support in her runaway train of a party. Yesterday, Penny Mordaunt found herself in the unusual position of having to explain to the House that Truss was not hiding under a chair when she didn't turn up for work.

She eventually showed but surely even someone as stupid as Truss must know that Tory PMs don't hide under their desks. They hide in fridges. Hunt began to rip up, pretty much in its entirety, Truss and Kwarteng's disastrous mini-budget (or 'fiscal event') and is now, in all but name, in charge of the country despite finishing eighth, and last, when Tory MPs last voted on who they wanted as their new leader. Ushering in a new era of austerity, yippee, as Truss sits there gormlessly grinning and acting like a robot sex toy that has fallen so far down the uncanny valley it can never come back. 

Crispin Blunt has been the first Tory MP to call for her to go but many more are saying it in private. Imagine making enemies of the RSPB (who are outraged about Tory plans to build on important conservation sights), M People, the Daily Star (who have been comparing Truss, unfavourably, to a wet lettuce), the Ramblers, Joe Biden, pretty much the entire British public, and almost the entirety of your own party. Imagine making Michael Gove look like the voice of reason or being able to be accused by Nadine Dorries, someone who campaigned on behalf of Truss, of lurching to the right.

They can't govern themselves so how could they possibly ever hope to govern the country? It's not just time for Truss to go and it's not just time for the entire cabinet to go. It's time to the entire party to go. Unlike the book about Truss, below, the country just can't take any more of the Tories. Until they start moving on out, the country can't even begin to think about moving on up.