Isolation V:Social Distancing With Tears In My Eyes.

Within minutes of publishing my most recent blog about the coronavirus crisis the news came through that the death toll, in the UK alone, had risen from 465 to 578. 113 people dead in one single day. The most deadly day on these shores for the pandemic so far. The next day was even worse. 182 dead. The day after, today, another 239. To make a total of 1,019 in this one country alone so far.

I'm not expecting those figures to improve any time soon, I don't think any of us are. Globally there have now been over 28,250 deaths. More than 9,000 in Italy, more than 5,000 in Spain, more than 3,000 in China, and more than 2,000 in Iran. The UK has joined France and the US with over 1,000 deaths and in the Netherlands, Germany, Belgium, Switzerland, South Korea, Sweden, Indonesia, and Portugal there are over one hundred dead.

These daily bulletins of awful news are like a regular punch in the guts to all of us. I felt shocked. Even numb. Unable to take in the enormity of it all. Eventually I turned to Twitter. As usual it was a mix of bloviating blowhards, well meaning bromides, humorous memes, and the occasional perceptive comment. But what had the most profound affect on me was a video of a whole street in Southampton singing happy birthday, from their windows and balconies, to eight year old Sophia Thomas who, of course, was unable to have a birthday party.

That was it for me. The tears started. It was late afternoon/early evening on Thursday and later on, at 8pm, I joined with my neighbours in clapping the doctors, nurses, and other key workers from our windows and balconies. I'm very fortunate in that my flat affords me a panoramic view of London and all across the capital ripples of applause rang out, joined by fireworks and air horns.

It was a genuinely moving moment and a Facebook post I made following it about how, after this, we need to properly remunerate NHS staff, properly value them, and make sure we hold on to this most wonderful of institutions itself got fifty-four likes. My mum even said it made her cry. Not the first time I've made her do that but one of the few times I've actually been proud of doing so.

Hopefully, after this, even the Tory party will never whoop and holler after they've voted down pay rises for nurses again. As so many have commented this horrible and challenging time is giving all of us a chance to reassess our values, reconsider what jobs and services are truly vital, and to tell people we love how much we love them and how much they mean to us.

One person who keeps going up in my estimation is 'the nation's PE teacher' Joe Wicks. I've been told he's got an annoying voice and he's a bit smug but my observations have been that he's trying to keep children fit, trying to put a smile on people's faces, and, last night, he announced that all the money generated by his increased advertising revenue at this time will be directed straight to the NHS.

He's one of the good guys. I might even try one of his workouts as my exercise of late has been walking to the shop and back to buy milk, bread, and booze. Not that I'm complaining. Some are much worse off than me. Prince Charles has tested positive for coronavirus and is couped up in pokey little Clarence House with, presumably, a bare minimum of butlers and bum-wipers. Boris Johnson, too, has tested positive and is working from home. Spare a thought for Boris. He won't even be able to visit his children. As usual.

Matt Hancock, the Health Secretary, has got 'it' too and so, possibly, has the Chief medical officer Chris Whitty. It'd be easy to make a snide comment about how Johnson's insistence on continuing shaking hands in spite of evidence that doing so spreads the virus looks ridiculously idiotic and that our government look like an international laughing stock but we need to remember that the coronavirus does not discriminate. Even charlatans and liars are susceptible to it and we must wish him a speedy recovery. If only because Dominic Raab, a Foreign Secretary who didn't know there was a channel between England and France, is waiting in the wings to take over if Johnson gets more ill.


I'm not a fan of Johnson and I never will be but at least we've not saddled ourselves with Donald Trump. Polls in America now show huge numbers of Republicans and Trump supporters who think this is all some overblown media panic or even a conspiracy to remove Trump from office or lose him the next election.

It's a strange policy that Trump's operating. Persuading huge numbers of your own political base to go out and catch a disease that will possibly kill them. When that happens Trump will, of course, just blame somebody else. That's what he does. This constant shifting of blame will never stop until he breathes his last breath which, hopefully, will be very soon. It's bad to wish death on anyone but, in the case of Trump, his death will save hundreds, thousands, maybe tens of thousands of lives so the sooner he dies the better and when he does let's have no tears. The only bodily fluid that should be expended on Donald Trump should be urine. His grave should double up as a public urinal. The amount of people who'd travel round the world to piss on it would reawaken the American economy and Make America Great Again. Even his family would be able to say "it's what he would have wanted"

I decided, last night, to defriend a Trump supporter on Facebook. An elderly lady from Washington state who is the aunt of my friend Annasivia. I met her at Annasivia and Owen's wedding back in 2016 and she could not have been a nicer, friendlier, more accommodating host. So I added her as a Facebook friend and have gradually become more alarmed by how slavishly she follows and swallows Trump's lies. I thought I'd comment on her latest share of his dangerous, potentially fatal, propaganda but then I decided why waste time getting in barneys with people who are too far gone down that road. So I just defriended her.

Doing my tiny bit to discourage the spread of lies and hate on the Internet. Maybe this lady can't help it. Perhaps she's dumb or perhaps she's spent so many years watching Fox News she actually believes this crap. Either way it's not my problem. I hope the disease doesn't kill her but following Trump makes it more likely it will.

There's been another defriending too. Not that these people will care but a friend of my brother, a huge Boris Johnson admirer who is often urging him to "c'mon" and "get Brexit done", has used this time, of all times, to spread racist and xenophobic posts. Defriending him was sad in a different way. He's very close, and very loyal, to family members. But my rules are, as ever, in fact now more than ever, you spread and share racist, sexist, homophobic, and xenophobic bullshit on Twitter you're blocked, you do it on Facebook you're defriended. I hope it never comes to it but I'd apply those rules even for family members.

Now's the time for emotional unity, polite disagreement, and being there for friends, family, AND strangers no matter what country they live in, what country they come from, or what colour they are. Anyone who still can't see that I'm not wasting my time with. This crisis has underlined something I already knew. Haters gonna hate, and the short time we have on this planet we should try and spend with people who are kind, people who make us feel good about ourselves, and people who care about others.

I'm missing going out for walks with my various walking groups, I'm missing going to gigs (tonight I should be at the Barbican with Darren and Pam watching Richard Dawson), I'm missing visiting art galleries, and I'm missing sitting in the park with a can of Coke and The Guardian and watching the world go by. But, more than that, I'm missing the warm feeling of being physically, and emotionally, close to another human being. I'm missing the smell of a friend's freshly washed hair, I'm missing the softness of another person's skin when you hug them, I'm missing the sound of my friends laughing, I'm missing the glint in a close friend's eye as the corners of their mouth turn upwards into a gleeful grin, and I'm missing being in a room warmed by the comforting presence of people I have known, and loved for years.

Most likely it's going to be a while before I experience those things again but in the mean time I'm trying to stay in touch other ways. Sometimes getting it wrong, sometimes getting it right. We're most of us new to this. Social encounters have been migrating online for years now but as the harsh reality of all this clenches its stubborn jaws around us and refuses to let go we know that this is how it has to be. Possibly my biggest worry of all this, beyond even economies crashing and people dying, is that the human race will become ever more lethally divided. We make space between each other now because, finally, we respect experts and science - but is it too much to ask that at some point, when we know we're safe again to do so, we get closer, we become more entwined?

Or simply acknowledge that we already are. This has shown just how closely every single person on the planet is linked. Could the ultimate result be that this crisis which is currently building more borders, not just between states but between people, eventually brings those borders down?Sadly, I doubt it. But I hope so. I don't want to go back to normal. I want to go back to better than before.

I want the kindness shown by the vast majority of friends and family to carry on. I've been listening to music (Alice Coltrane while writing this), watching TV, reading endlessly, and drinkings lots of tea and that's been filling the time nicely. I still feel well physically and mentally I'm in a better state than I might have imagined. A lot of that is down to those friends and family so, as ever with these updates, I'd like to thank Mum, Dad, Rob H, and Vicki for their uplifting calls and to Darren and Cheryl (Luca got involved but Tommy had gone to bed) and Michelle and Evie for their video calls.

Tonight Ian has set up a quiz on Zoom for a group of us. I've got some beers in and I'm really looking forward to it. Then the clocks go forward. Unfortunately one hour and not six months. We're in British Summer Time but it may be a summer like no other we have ever lived through. The rest of the week could see some of the worst news most of us have ever witnessed so it seems to me more important than ever to remove toxic and poisonous individuals from our lives, both online and in real life - which now are closer than ever, while, at the same time, remaining more unified with those we do care about and who care about us. There's a saying that if you can choose between being right and being kind you should always choose being kind. It's one I like. But, right now, we really need to try and do both the right thing and the kind thing. Love is still stronger than hate.