The Thames Path Part VII:Windsor to Bourne End (Bourne, Slippy?)

It'd been a cold, cold week. While the main course of the Thames wasn't actually frozen some of its backwaters were and some large sheets of ice had come loose and were floating down the main river itself. It made for quite a spectacle to look at and throwing sticks and twigs on to the ice and watching them bump and skid across it also proved very satisfying.

Which for me, yesterday's walk - the seventh stage of our Thames Path odyssey, summed up most of the day. Very satisfying. I'd woken up ridiculously early, 5am, and once I'd done a few basic life admin tasks and had a cup of tea and a pain au chocolat, I was at Honor Oak Park station, Guardian in hand, bright and early.

Overground to Whitechapel, Hammersmith & City line to Paddington, and then two trains. The first one to Slough, the second on to Windsor & Eton Central. I stopped in Paddington to take a photo of a statue of Isambard Kingdom Brunel because (a) he's something of a regular feature on these walks and (b) I knew he'd be cropping up again before the day was out. I also stopped in Slough for a brief encounter with our old friend, Station Jim. Or Dog Jim if you're a purist.

Windsor & Eton Central station, very busy - Windsor pulls the crowds in for obvious reasons, opens up to a small, and tidy, shopping parade. There's branches of Jigsaw, Bill's, and Caffe Nero and you can get a plate of pho or try a bubble tea. But my curiosity was piqued by a Victorian locomotive that had the unusual name of Emlyn.

Which is my dad's name. How my dad would feel about this I don't know and I'm even less certain what he would think to discover the train was renamed - twice, firstly to The Queen and then to, er, James Mason! James Mason/The Queen/Emlyn was withdrawn from service in 1912.

I still had time to kill as we were due to meet at 11am for brunchington. So I had a look at the castle, some statues and memorials, took a walk over to Eton where we finished last time, and on the promenade had a look at some swans. Lots of swans.

Mamma Mia Cafe was our pre-arranged rendez-vous location but it was closed. Apparently it closes in winter. As it doubles up as an ice cream parlour, and Windsor is a very popular tourist town, that wasn't a massive surprise but it meant I had to find somewhere else - and quick. I looked at my phone and was just about to settle on the local Wetherspoons (which I'd passed early) when Adam and Shep rocked up. They'd eaten already (Greggs vegan sausage rolls and vegan steak bakes) but they thought Wetherspoons was the best call.

The owner, Tim Martin, is still a prick that looks like a model of Worzel Gummidge that's been pumped full of helium, treats his staff abysmally, and backed Brexit but, predictably, the Windsor 'Spoons' (The King & Castle) is a lot nicer than most others. I had a small (very small actually) veggie breakfast and Shep had two vegan sausages (his third breakfast of the day following the steak bake and some porridge at home) while the others (Bee, Mo, Pam, Eamon, Jason, Colin, and Patricia) arrived.

We had a good catch up with each other's news and a chat about The Traitors (I'd not started the second series yet but I loved the first one and Adam says the second one is even more addictive, I don't doubt him) and then we headed down to the Thames, crossed the bridge (again) into Eton, and started following the Thames Path through the green expanses of The Brocas and Cooley's Meadow.

Behind us, the views of the castle were impressive. Across the river we could see various small islands and on the river itself the site of a bathing spot used by boys from Eton College and known, for some reason, as Athens. The weather on Saturday was most definitely not Athenian.

Nobody fancied a dip and as the group of ten walkers stretched out massively and broke into three and then four factions, we looked across the river to the Royal Windsor Racecourse and to Oakley Court (which was supposed to, but didn't really, look like Dracula's castle) and then all gathered by the almost abandoned looking St Mary Magdalene church in Boveney, a Grade I listed building that is now redundant but looks all the more impressive for it. Back in the seventies and the eighties it survived plans by developers to convert it into residential accommodation.

Just north of us, though we could hardly see it, stood Dorney Lake which was used in the 2012 Olympics and Paralympics for rowing events. Just before we passed under the M4 motorway bridge we walked by Monkey Island and those unfortunate enough to be anywhere near me got to hear me waffle on about that place.

Just north of Bray Marina and on the reach above Boveney Lock, Monkey Island has been a tourist destination since Georgian times. In 1738 the Duke of Marlborough (most commonly associated with Blenheim Palace) purchased the island and placed colourful statues of monkeys on the island to amuse visitors, this giving the island its name.

Although another story has it that monks once lived on the island and that 'monkey', in this case, is a deviation of the word 'monk'. Who knows? Later on, Monkey Island hosted a pavilion that was converted into an inn called Monkey Hall Hotel. It was a popular spot. Edward VII and his family would take afternoon tea on the lawn, Edward Elgar composed a violin concerto there, and HG Wells frequented the place. Music hall stars like Nellie Melba and Clara Butt would entertain the guests.

There's now a fancy hotel there which seems very much in keeping with the area. There were a lot of very elegant and expensive looking properties facing out to river and behind them was the village of Bray. Most famous as the location for Heston Blumenthal's Fat Duck restaurant. Blumenthal also runs The Hind's Head gastropub in Bray and Michel and Albert Roux (who have both died in recent years) founded The Waterside Inn which is another Michelin three starred place.

There are only eight Michelin three stars restaurants in the whole of the UK and two of them are in Bray (population less than 10,000). Five are in London and the final one is in Cartmel, Cumbria. Bray residents, one assumes, can afford to eat regularly in these posh joints as Bray is known as Millionaire's Row. Notable residents include, and have included, Michael Parkinson, Carol Kirkwood, composer Laurie Holloway, Sylvia Anderson (co-creator of Thunderbirds and voice of Lady Penelope), George Mountbatten - the 2nd Marquess of Milford Haven, and Regenbald who served as Chancellor to Edward the Confessor and William the Conqueror.

Rolf Harris lived there too but I suspect the residents of Bray are less proud of that. Edward Lear also wrote a really crap limerick about Bray that goes "There was an old person of Bray who sang through the whole of the day to his ducks and his pigs whom he fed upon figs, that valuable person of Bray". Sorry, Ed, but that last line is really lazy and lame - and you've got form when it comes to this.

Bray slowly merges into the larger, and more maligned - probably unfairly though they have had Theresa May as their MP for twenty-seven years - Maidenhead and the first thing of interest, to a small number of us at least - others were starting to fixate on pubs, was the Maidenhead Railway Bridge. Opened in 1839 and designed by, you guessed it, Isambard Kingdom Brunel, the bridge features the widest and flattest arches in the whole world and there is an amazing multiple echo effect if you shout, or even talk, while walking under the bridge. It's worth a go. I feel sorry for those who missed out.

I'd kind of imagined that there would be some kind of pub along the river in Maidenhead but we hadn't seen one yet. Maidenhead Bridge (designed by Robert Taylor, Grade I listed, and opened in 1777) came into view and both Jason and I thought it looked familiar. It's the first picture that comes up on Maidenhead's Wikipedia page so that's probably where I saw it.

We crossed the bridge and the busy Bath Road near the Thames Riviera Hotel before continuing north through Bridge Gardens. Shep, Eamon, and Pam were leading the way and judging by the speed, and lead, they'd worked up they knew a pub was coming up.

There was. The Thames breaks into three, sort of, here and there are two islands. Ray Mill Island and Boulter's Island. The pub, The Boathouse at Boulter's Lock, was on Boulter's Island. It looked nice. Possibly too nice for us in our muddy walking boots and not even wanting to eat, just drink.

We need not have worried. After pausing to take a photo of a green telephone box and a plaque informing us that Richard Dimbleby (former Panorama presenter and father of David and Jonathan, 1913-1965) used to live on a house on the island, we were given the best table in the house. One that looked out to Ray Mill Island (no kayaking while we there) and the urgent flow of the river. Ducks glided by and so did fallen logs and branches. I resisted the temptation, offered by the ever generous Colin, of having my first alcoholic drink of the year and instead I had a blackcurrant and soda (I actually ordered blackcurrant and lemonade but I wasn't that bothered) which, remarkably, still took me longer to drink than the pints and coffees that the others ordered.

Back on the river, and having broken the back of the walk, there was time to lob a few sticks on the ice and head out of Maidenhead into a reasonably densely wooded path that would, just before Cliveden House - an Italianate mansion where some of the key events of the Profumo affair were played out, take us away from the river and along a backwater called Lulle Brook that looked out to three more islands - Formosa Island, Sashes Island, and one that doesn't seem to have a name.

Along a quiet road and a couple of back passages (don't laugh) we finally reached the village of Cookham. Most famous as the home of the celebrated artist Stanley Spencer (1891-1959) who made the village, its church, and the river famous through his paintings. Both Noel Coward (Hay Fever) and Harold Pinter (Victoria Station) mention Cookham in their plays and Kenneth Grahame was inspired by the river as it flows through Cookham to write The Wind In The Willows. So you can consider Cookham to be the home of Toad of Toad Hall, Ratty, and Moley.

The Stanley Spencer Gallery was closed but we were more interested in The Bel And The Dragon pub anyway. Not one, not two, but three roaring fires. I caved in (to be fair, I'd planned to) and had my first booze drink of 2024 (since the middle of December, I spent Xmas and New Year dry) and it was a nice one as well. 

A weak one too. Probably for the best as Adam imagined me, in a couple of hours time, turning into Super Hans on his stag night. A 3.4% Rebellion IPA from the Marlow Brewery, a local drop, it'd have almost been rude not to. The pub was lovely and it would have been easy to stay for another - and another - and another. But we still had just over a mile to go and it'd gotten dark.

After a wrong turning (my bad - I misread a sign) we passed through the graveyard of the impressively illuminated Holy Trinity church where I believe Spencer is buried. Other Cookham notables, down the ages, have included wireless pioneer Guglielmo Marconi, Chris Barrie (from Red Dwarf and The Brittas Empire), Ulrika Jonsson (who lived in Cookham for 21 years), and Timmy Mallett. It's not recorded if Pinky Punky lived with him.

The final stretch was dark and would have been muddier underfoot if some of the mud hadn't been frozen. We eventually reached Cock Marsh and a railway bridge across the river to Bourne End. There was a footbridge too but it took us a few minutes to find it (raising my anxiety although my blood pressure levels were vastly improved when I took a reading the next day, the company? the exercise? the booze? who knows). 

The bridge took us on to a short narrow path which opened up into the car park of Bourne End railway station. Not a big station. Jason had to rush off to attend to important family business but the rest of us made our way, not via The Walnut Tree pub as Shep had hoped, to The Parade. Bourne End on a Saturday night is not exactly vibrant but there are two Indian restaurants.

We chose The Last Viceroy, menus with pictures of Louis Mountbatten on them to underline the venue's name, and I had a tarka daal and a paratha washed down with some Cobras. Carole, Dylan, and Ben came to join us and everyone seemed in good spirits. The food was good. Nothing amazing but, to get back to the start, very satisfactory and we made plans for next week while discussing the concept of national treasures (David Attenborough and Stephen Fry, yes - a former resident of Bray resolutely not). I was also presented with a gift from Colin and Patricia. Many years ago, in the summer of 2018, I'd visited an exhibition with Colin (as well as Tony, Alex, Grace, Izzie, Jo, and Max) at the Ashmolean in Oxford (America's Cool Modernism:O'Keeffe to Hopper) and they'd bought me the corresponding book to go with it. A generous act in itself but made even more so by the fact that it was presented to me at the end, not the start, of the walk and I didn't have to carry it round with me all day.

Nice one. Once done, most people shot off in cars but Bee, Mo, Pam, and myself took a train to Maidenhead and another one to Paddington. Bee jumped off at West Drayton and at Paddington the final three of us went our separate ways. I took the Bakerloo line to Elephant & Castle and a 63 bus home. It had been a very satisfactory day on the Thames.

Thanks to Pam, Mo, Bee, Shep, Adam, Colin, Patricia, Jason, Eamon, Carole, Dylan, and Ben for making yesterday such a fun day (and thanks, too, to Bee, Pam, Colin, and Eamon for contributing photos - many of which I've used here). We're not leaving it long until we get back on it. In six days time we're back in Bourne End and we're following the Thames to Henley. After London, Surrey, Berkshire, and Buckinghamshire we'll be finally arriving in Oxfordshire. Looking forward to it.