Monday 8 June 2020

Members Only:Dicking Around with Dave.

"Hold the fuck up! Ain't you the YouTube rapper with the small dick and all that?"

"You're a rapper? I thought you were, like, a meme"

Having a name as common as Dave (as I do) means, at least, that most people can both spell and pronounce it even if you occasionally have to be known by two names to distinguish you from other Daves that people know. Because it's such a normal name it's always being co-opted into comedy and often in quite annoying ways.

I had to put up with several years of people coming up to me repeating "hello Dave. You're my wife now" from The League of Gentlemen and when the Dave comedy channel launched I suddenly became, to a small group, "the home of witty banter". When, in truth, I'm anything but. I'm a really boring serious bastard.


But a rapper called Dave with a stage name of Lil Dicky - due to what he claims is an abnormally minuscule penis - sounded like a new low to me. Not least because I was being recommended the recent ten part series (available on BBC iPlayer), also called Dave, by a female friend. If enough people watch this Dave will soon become synonymous with 'small cock'. Why didn't they choose a more suitable name? Jerome or something like that.

It almost put me off watching the series but I'm glad it didn't because, awkward choice of name aside, it was brilliant. Laugh out loud funny in many places and even, as the life stories and motivations of not just Dave but the supporting cast were drilled down into, surprisingly touching.

The basic premise is that Dave (Dave Burd) is a white, Jewish, middle class, rapper who smells of tuna fish and neither partakes of the herb, screws around, or has any kind of gang or criminal affiliation whatsoever and he's trying to make it in the Los Angeles rap world. He raps, regularly and humorously, about the shortcomings of his wedding furniture and though he gains no little notoriety for doing so he's taken more as a comedian, comedy rapper, or even a meme than he is a serious rapper.


And then there's that whole business about his manhood. The first episode begins with Dave having his penis inspected by a doctor while Dave recounts how he was born with a tangled urethra and had to have the 'ribbed' skin of his testicles partly removed and placed on his shaft. Resulting in what he describes as "a dick made out of balls".

Dave is assisted on his mission by his black, yet very middle class, beats maker Elz (Travis 'Taco' Bennett) and his new hyperactive friend and hype man GaTa. GaTa's black too - and actually comes from a black neighbourhood which, along with GaTa's shameless self-promotion, helps open a few doors. Both Bennett and GaTa (who plays himself!) are brilliant throughout the series but props too must go to Taylor Misiak as Dave's long suffering school teacher girlfriend, Christine Ko as Ally's room-mate Emma, and Andrew Santino as Dave's roomie, and later manager, Mike.



While GaTa's backstory is the most moving, every character is given the courtesy of being fully drawn rather than sketched and the funniest lines and situations are generously shared out to all cast members. Ally reads Dave's tweet about getting head almost as soon as she's finished doing it, Dave's asked to rap at a dead child's funeral and wonders how bars about dry vaginas and micro phalli will go down, GaTa describes himself as "like a black Neil deGrasse Tyson" and washes his hair with a bar of soap "smaller than a Tic Tac", while Elz describes the rapper Trippie Redd who has the number eight tattooed between his eyes as looking "like a fucking calculator".

Other hilarious set pieces involve a soundcloud rapper called Kid Toilet, a man selling wooden shirts, the accidental running over of a bunny rabbit, the sexual kink known as 'milking', Dave being asked to sign a fan's dick, and Dave asking his manager "can I suck my own dick on stage? Legally?". Dave raps that his dick is like a salt shaker, says he pees like a supersoaker, and takes out his sexual frustration on a Fuck-me-Silly III sex doll that has no upper torso. Perhaps he should have invested in the Fuck-me-Silly IV?


We see Dave and his friends doing very uncool things in very amusing ways. They play crazy golf, Dave asks if Akhbar is Allah's last name "in Muslim", and Dave and Mike share bath nights together where they road test new beauty products. While much of the humour comes from Dave talking about his second pee-hole and the fact that every time he ejaculates he makes eye contact with his Drake poster there is, alongside all this brilliantly coarse vulgarity, a softer beating heart at play in this series.

The relationship between Dave and Ally, though often strained, is tender and loving, Dave and his friends may rip the piss out of each other at every possible opportunity but the love between members of this closely knit group becomes more tangible with each episode and, towards the end, culminates in Ally's hilarious yet touching double edged sword of a speech at her sister's wedding.

While we laugh at Dave's dad washing another man's car and there's an awkward moment when, at an art exhibition, Dave imagines a racially insensitive word when being asked "you don't like Koons?" the show doesn't shy away from tackling head on, well side on - very side on, mental health issues, cultural appropriation, and, quite obviously, sexual anxiety.


These characters are not just funny. They're likeable too. For all the references to Lil Wayne, Offset, Meek Mill, and Lonely Island and for all the impressive guest appearances by Macklemore, Young Thug, Gunna, Benny Blanco, YG, and even Justin Bieber and Kourtney Kardashian it is Dave himself and his friends and family (shout outs have to go to Allan Fisher and Joachim Powell as Young Dave and Young Elz, seen in flashbacks, and David Paymer and Gina Hecht as Dave's enthusiastic parents) that really make this series so warm, so brilliantly observed, and so bloody funny.

The whole series is a fictionalised account of Dave's, and Lil Dicky's, real life rise to fame and though that can't possibly have been as amusing as this programme makes it look it does suggest that there are plenty more adventures ahead for Dave and the gang. The fact that the series ended with at least two of the key relationships unresolved suggests a second series was always in mind. The fact that the show was such a success would suggest to me that it's now merely a matter of time.

No episode of Dave is longer than half an hour but in each of those episodes I laughed, loudly and soundly, several times. As Dave himself might say "never mind the length. Feel the quality".


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