Turkiye!

Turkiye! Turkey! I visited Istanbul in 2008 but I'd not been to Turkey since and, in fact, I'd not even been abroad (unless you count Wales) since Simon and Ciska's wedding in 2019. I'd not been on a plane for six years. I was nervous about flying again but I was very very excited to be going on holiday. Especially as I was going with Michelle and Evie and I love them both very much.

 

Heat was expected but heat I like. We'd arranged to fly from Manchester airport (my first visit) to Antalya so I had quite a schlep (though a very pleasant one) just to get there. Windrush line from Honor Oak Park to Highbury & Islington (with my new silver wheely trolley, £20 from a shop in Peckham, it lost a wheel on the return journey), tube to Euston, train to Wilmslow (with The Guardian and a packet of salt'n'vinegar square crisps, sat opposite people off to the Green Man festival), and another train to Manchester airport where I met Michelle and Evie at KFC. I recognised Evie's travel pillow from some distance. 

It's a lovely shade of light blue. I had a bit of a bad foot and worried I was going to be treated to a holiday bout of gout but luckily nothing materialised there. Manchester airport looked pretty futuristic and when I was there I had a message from my mate Mark asking me if I'd like to join him and Natalie on a visit to Frank's in Peckham.

Normally I would but a holiday in Turkey with Michelle and Evie is just a bit better than that. After the faff (and sensory overload) of checking in (my luggage weighed 10k, Michelle's nearly double that) and watching some crazed lunatic unsuccessfully try to board with a box of cutlery, we settled down for a pint of Greetings From Manchester (6%) and a Coke Zero for Evie in an airport bar absolutely festooned with Oasis related artwork. They blasted out Neil Young's Rockin' In The Free World and I had a plate of chips. I was happy. I wanted to sing along.

After a brief delay on departure we bagged the back three seats of the plane. Evie got the window and I sat between her and her mum. The two of us adults necking four small cans of Helles and enjoying a delicious simit. I wasn't fond of the turbulence but Evie loved it. She thought it was like a rollercoaster which was handy because she was starting to get bored as we flew over the UK, Germany, Austria, Hungary, Serbia, Greece, and, finally - of course, Turkey.

At Antalya airport we got a transfer in some fancy vehicle so we felt like (tired) pop stars. We didn't take advantage of any of the beer, fizzy pop, or bubbly available but we did watch a lot of Mr Bean cartoons. The journey took ninety minutes and the driver even stopped to buy all three of us a rather tasty pistachio ice cream. We couldn't help noticing just how many petrol stations we passed. There seemed to be one every mile.

We arrived at Haydarpasha hotel very late. There was hardly anyone about so we went straight to the room and straight to bed. Michelle got a double, I got a single, and Evie got a sofa bed. That may sound a bit unfair on the youngest of the group but she got first choice and she chose that bed. She slept pretty bloody well in it too - even if one night she got up to 'prank' her mum in the wee small hours.

The hotel itself was fancy. Five star - so not my usual kind of thing - with a very ornate lobby and as many gold furnishings as Donald Trump's toilet. Even the lifts were decorated in gold. The dining area was spacious and came with a huge, almost bewildering, amount of options. For breakfast it was usually a croissant or some other kind of pastry/bread thing and in the evenings we mixed it up a bit more - but never felt the need to try out (at extra expense) any of the fancier alternative dining options the hotel offered.

You could see the sea from our balcony but not the pool and that was probably for the best as it meant our room was lovely and quiet. Air conditioned too. Which it had to be considering the temperature was pushing 40c some days (and even went above it on a couple of occasions). For the first couple of days we did a lot of sitting round the pool reading (I started Elif Shafak's The Bastard of Istanbul), getting in to the lovely - just right heat wise - pool and enjoying mocktails, cocktails, Coke Zeros, and beers - always Efes.

Evie's favourite mocktails were the Swimming Pools. the Angels, and the Mickey Mouses and Donald Ducks - and she even tried some with pineapple juice in them despite her saying that pineapple made her tongue swell up. Michelle had a couple of negronis and we both had an Aperol Spritz. I found myself more partial to the Cuba Libre and, of course, the refreshing and chilled Efes.

 

There were smaller pools, an indoor pool, a pool with slides (that, remarkably, only got used once) but the main pool was the best. It had a little waterfall under the bar and Evie spent hours in there spinning round and round in her rubber ring. Me and her had some swimming races and she beat me five times out of six (and, yes, I was trying).

 

One day there was a skipping on a paddle board contest but I was too old for it and Evie too young (over fourteens only) and on another occasion we had to chat to a holiday rep who of course tried to sell us add ons that we didn't want or need. He was nice though and complimented me by asking me if I was Turkish!

 

Sometimes it was nice to take a drink in the much cooler lobby bar (even when crowds gathered round the telly to watch Fenerbahce vs Feyenoord) and all mea;s were eaten indoors because of the heat. Hummus, bread, jalapenos, olives, and, for me, lots of potato puree (mash basically). Michelle was more health conscious and had lots of vegetables and fruit and Evie loved having fish cooked right in front of her. She was also very impressed with a patisserie on site in which we could eat ice cream and various other sweet snacks. And why not? It's a holiday.

 

We made a few trips to the beach and the water was lovely. The last night the sunset over the Med was stunning and all three of us loved that. Evie was perhaps even more taken with the funfair and the evening shows (she's now much too grown up for the kid's club). The fair had a big wheel which Michelle and Evie went on and Evie took me for a spin on the dodgems. It was, let's be honest, a bumpier ride than usual and I'm fortunate I didn't break any bones. Possibly my own fault as I couldn't work out the seatbelt but I'm surprised I didn't end up with at least whiplash.

 

The evening entertainement consisted of smaller kids going up on stage and saying where they were from. Huge cheers usually for Turkey, England, and Germany (bulk of those there came from those places) but no to so many for Moldova, Kosovo, and Albania. The host asked the English to give Moldova a cheer and I willingly did. Both Evie and I gave a big cheer when the one and only Welsh kid got up there.

 

Then there was usually some more formal entertainment. A tango night (featuring Smells Like Teen Spirit - which works surprisingly well in a tango style) and a Wakanda Forever dance party. One night around the pool there was a foam party (Turkish resorts love a foam party) and the DJ blasted out the likes of Drake, Hot Butter, the depressingly still topical Colonel Bagshot (yes, really, a dance remix), and Daft Punk's One More Time while Evie covered herself in foam. There was a brief interlude while medical staff attended to someone who had perhaps overdone it in the sun that day.

 

There were even 'sexy' dancers, a 'space beast' (Evie's words), and a model of Yoda for no discernible reason, and people dressed as astronauts getting involved. Other nights we'd play Uno. I'd not played it before and it was fun even if I did come up against a couple of real card sharks. Another night there was karaoke (Coldplay, Noah Kahan, and Mack the Knife) and on yet another we had a singer on the terrace who sang the likes of All That She Wants, Get Lucky, Smooth Operator, and Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! in what Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer would have described as a "club style".

 

Evening meals were when we put on our best finery. Evie looked rockstar cool, Michelle looked stunning in a selection of beautiful dresses, and even I scrubbed up reasonably well despite Michelle saying I looked like Gepetto when I stared over the top of my glasses and that I snored "like a warthog" at night. Too many Efe's.

 

We ate aubergines, zucchinis, peppers, and so many different types of Turkish cheese and one member of staff, the lovely and charming Enis, couldn't say Evie's name and kept calling her E-Wee. Much to all of our amusement.

 

Evie loved to go in the arcade and play air hockey or go on the basketball machine (we made a mean team) and it was nice to spend such quality time with her and let Michelle actually relax on a sun lounger for a bit. I enjoyed bringing them drinks, reserving towels and parasols, and hopefully keeping Evie entertained. I didn't so much enjoy hearing We Will Rock You about five times a day!

The music wasn't all bad though (on the Sunday they were playing reggae by the pool:- Three Little Birds, Here I Come, Night Nurse) although I think Evie was more interested in watching 'reels' on YouTube than Bob Marley, Barrington Levy, or Gregory Isaacs. Michelle's ear infection also meant she was unable to appreciate the sweet Jamaican sounds too but we were all able to appreciate, and enjoy, the two day trips we did.

Firstly there was a ride on a pirate boat in Alanya (there isn't much Evie loves more right now than Pirates of the Caribbean and Captain Jack Sparrow) and it was great fun. The boat looked impressively piratey and there were people dressed as pirates (with parrots - not even sure if that's cruel or not) on board. On top of that we got to jump in the refreshing sea three of four times as well as marvel at some of the gorgeous coastal scenery and the 'Spidermen' who climbed and dived from the rocks and even clambered impressively up the rigging.

Spaghetti was served and soft drinks (there was a bar but I didn't think booze and jumping in the sea would mix well) and, of course, a foam party and, of course again, a blast of We Will Rock You. As well as, er, the Macarena! Michelle got a lovely picture of Evie which will be a wonderful memento of a great day.

Equally as good, and far more tiring, was our second trip. The guide was a font of knowledge telling us about the area's history and its links to Richard the Lionheart, Cleopatra, Jesus, Noah's Ark, the Seljuks, Saladin, Saint Nicholas, and the Crusades. He even got us to play our choices of music as we cruised along the palm tree lined coast road. I chose Y Teimlad from Super Furry Animals (a Datblygyu cover) to represent Wales and the Beach Boys' Aren't You Glad just because it's lovely.

The friendly Estonian group chose some dreadful shit (they could have had Arvo Part) and the young Polish women chose a very professional sounding song one of them had recorded. After some gentle persuasion Michelle played one of her tracks. The guide assumed I'd played guitar on it! His own selection was You're The One That I Want from Grease. Which was fine by me.

The trip, though, was a long one. We were out and about for nine to ten hours. Banana trees (it had never occurred to me that they grew bananas in turkey) and a trip to the mostly ruined Roman city of Syedra  to see its columns, chapels, bathrooms, and wrestling court. As well as a mosaic of Hercules fighting the lion. Evie found a piece of mosaic on the floor and handed it to the guide because she's a good girl.

We also saw lizards, dragonflies, and avocado trees before visiting a shingly beach where the waves kept knocking me down. I gave up and lied down on a sun lounger but the other two made the most of it. After a lunch of chips, bread, bulgur what, and salad (washed down with a can of fizzy pop) it was time to go inside a five million year old cave.

Lovely and cool. As well as, apparently, being one of the world's biggest. It is even said that a visit can help cure asthma and bronchitis and in places some of it reminded me of Abstract Expressionist art. We stopped to see more ruins (less impressive ones, some were clearly new replicas) and then visited the stunning King's Bay for a swim. Where we saw our only Palestinian flags of the week. A family in swimsuits designed with that particular flag on them.

In 40c heat, both the steep descent and ascent were very challenging but all three of us made it and swam in an incredible lagoon that opened up via a cavelike door into the sea. On the return Michelle had to visit the doctor with her ear so I kept Evie distracted with sweets, cakes, and funny stories. Her new favourite thing was soon becoming Turkish delight.

 

 

 

And that. more or less, was it. The last day we got up ridiculously early, took the car to the airport (this time a rock music channel:- Evie approved of Nirvana (she's already a fan) but was not taken by Guns'n'Roses or Bon Jovi), flew back to Manchester, and I got the train back to London. I really wished we'd booked two weeks. Maybe next year.

 

You may have noticed there are no pictures (or no close up pictures) of Evie on this blog and that's because Michelle doesn't like her daughter to be on social media. That's a pity because there are some absolutely lovely pictures of her having a total whale of a time but it's also something I fully respect. The blog is a nice fun way of remembering a great holiday but the holiday itself was the important thing. At the end of the holiday I asked Evie to describe it one word and, breaking the rules, she said "really really fun". Thanks to Evie and thanks to Michelle. Love you both.